Monday, February 16, 2009

How I Met My Husband

This is a long one...I got caught up in telling the story..and since I don't think I really have a complete account in my patchy Journal is some more to fill in the gaps.

Jeremy stuck out to me instantly. He was in my YSA ward…just back from his mission and there seemed to be something truly good and kind about him. I didn’t know him at all…I rarely conversed with him, and yet he became the main object of my matchmakery hobby.
I was always a bit clumsy and dorky when it came to the whole dating scene…so I preferred to play the spectator (or at least that is what I told myself) …and with all of my observational research I was accumulating, I developed a real flare for playing cupid – though rarely would I inform people of my plans for them. But nevertheless…I liked pairing people up in my head…”Ohh, he would be soo good with her”…or “she is totally his type”…Even when I would be on a date I would be secretly making little notes…”Ohh, he does that…well so and so likes that too – they should get together!.” And to this day…I still cannot resist…
Anyway, as I was saying…Jeremy – Well when the conversation with a bunch of roommates/friends would “occasionally” turn to the topic of the eligible bachelors within our midst…I would say things like…”what about that J.P.…he seems like a nice fellow”…or you should ask J.P to Preference—he seems nice”…or “Ohh, you are in ENCS 201 with J.P….You should totally like him”….”How was your class tonight? Did you talk to J.P?”
Eventually, I decided to take my own advice-- Jeremy had just gotten back from 2 weeks in Ecuador where he was studying tropical biodiversity--how attractive!! I just couldn’t resist any the next time I saw him I mentioned that I was interested in his trip and invited him to my place to see his pictures—(totally not like me…but pretty smooth nonetheless). From there spun a very casual friendship…and an even more casual couple of dates. When the next preference rolled around I invited him as my date. I got a huge U-haul box…stuffed it full of balled-up yellow pages, scattered candy throughout and on a very cleverly folded piece of paper wrote…”I would be very moved if you would join me for Preference” and left it on his doorstep. For Pref. we rented a large U-Haul Truck, parked it at the institute, ran electricity into it and moved the entire contents of our living room…pictures, lamps, couches, and all, with a large fancily decorated table in the centre. We had a lovely candlelit, pizza dinner, with a few other couples and then we all went down to the E-train tunnels for some remote control car races. It was such a smash!! And that night…after the dance and after we had announced the winners of the car races…the thought…”perhaps that Jeremy will like me too” flashed through my head…which freaked me out. Well, eventually those fears subsided as Jeremy would occasionally stop by our house – not to see me, but my lovely roommates of course (they all liked video games and I didn’t).
Well, Jeremy extended a few more invitations of friendship, but eventually we went our separate ways. Years later, after I had finished university and moved to a new city, I was talking with an old friend from my University days on the phone. I asked him who his roommates were and he listed J.P. as one of them…Ohh him…what is he up to I innocently asked…To which my friend replied that he was dating a girl and that he thought that it had potential to become serious. I was surprised by my disappointment and even confessed my regret for “missing the boat on a good guy. Fast Forward to another year gone by. The lady that lived upstairs from the basement suite I was renting was heading out of town and hollered down early one morning to bid me farewell. I met her on the landing and asked her where she was going...____,the same place that she would always go on her weekends off. This particular time, the thought suddenly popped into my head…”I wonder if she knows J.P?” – So I asked her…to which her eyes got real big and she excited stated…”Yes, his mom and I are best friends”…she asked how I knew him, I told her and she said she would very subtly find out if he was dating anyone. Which I wasn’t even sure if I wanted her to do…but when she came back from her trip she handed me his email…not quite as subtle as I had wanted, but again, very unlike me, I typed up an email…a cheesy out of the blue-remember me?-desperate kind of email and waited. When he finally replied he filled me in on what he was doing, and had done the last few years, inquired into my own life a little and then closed his email with….”P.S. The first thing that came to my mind when I got your email was your beautiful green eyes, (sitting in CafĂ© Mosaic)…that and you make the worst brownies I have ever tasted”. I was dumbfounded, and a little intrigued…the worst brownies??!? What’s a girl supposed to do now? Was that a compliment…was it an insult…would he be interested in a follow-up email? To many men I am sure “the worst brownies I have ever tasted” would be a huge turnoff.
Well, I did email him back, which led to a casual computer correspondence over the span of 3 months. Finally for New Years eve he was driving some friends down to my city and I suggested that we hang out…Are you noticing a trend here…I am the one doing ALL of the inviting/pursuing…Not at all my style…I was always too nervous to even return a guys call let alone ask anyone out. He came down another time after that and then on the phone we had the talk…the “should we be exclusive talk”. I liked him, but I didn’t like long-distance relationships…I said no, but he heard yes. (He still to this day never listens to me…but I guess it is for the best as he later admitted that had he heard what I said, he probably would have cooled most of his efforts toward me). Well, as luck would have it that little misunderstanding became a non-issue as within a week he had landed a job in my city…no long-distance anymore. He moved here, we started dating—And I knew right away. The first Sunday that we started dating there was a fireside we went to…the topic…”MARRIAGE”. Normally this would be a very awkward fireside to sit through with a guy that you just barely started to date, but as we sat there holding hands like two nervous school-kids…I thought I was going to cry I was soo happy—it just felt so different. Things moved fast…which again scared me. So one weekend I decided that I needed a “break” or to slow things down, that it was all moving to fast…well on my way to pick him up from a convention he was at downtown I got in a car accident. He met me there and I was soo happy to see him I completely abandoned all my plans…I really think that my accident helped knock some sense into me.
Well, a few weeks later we were talking one evening…at this point already feeling very much in love…and I gave him my ring (I am not a big jewellery person and just wanted the one ring that I would already wear (my dad had made for us out of my mom’s engagement ring) to be my wedding ring. I basically told him that I felt really good about us, and that he could give it back to me in his proposal or he could just give it back to me…no obligation. EEEEKS…that is a little forward too…what possessed me to be so direct with him I will never know…truly I am not like that. I sometimes wonder who really proposed to who…I gave him the ring first…does that count as a proposal?
Well, long story short, we did get married. And when we moved into our house together…We had some old wedding gifts scattered on our living room floor that we needed to open, and in the centre of it all was a rumpled huge U-haul box…the same one I had given him years ago. On top was a note (folded the same puzzlely cleverly way I had folded my Preference note)…which inside said…”I would be very moved if you’d make this our home with me”…and so it is…We have had a really crazy busy whirlwind first 3 years of marriage but I can honestly say I am the luckiest girl…and I have the BHE. For Valentines Day he even spent all day in the wood shop making the latest projects I have requested. I love how handy he is and how he is always willing to indulge my latest home improvement plans…I love what a great provider he is and how financially responsible he is…I know that that probably doesn’t sound very romantic and a little too practical but it feels good (safe and secure like) to know that with his good sense and our hard work the progress we have made on our mortgage and student loans. He is an incredible father…Chaim worships the ground he walks on...He is patient and accepting of me and I love that he appreciates me for me, flaws, awful brownies, and all...and I am soo grateful that I took my own advice and decided that I should like that J.P...I was right about him all along...He really is a GREAT GUY!!!


  1. That is an adorable love story.
    worst brownies ever as a pick up line?!!
    now that is unique!!!!

  2. So sweet Crystal. Doesn't seem like that all happened so long ago! I'm glad it did though. You guys are so awesome. Love ya lots and hope you had a happy valentines!

    - H